Bad Words

Before I get into my topic for this blog I want to promote the added Walking Ghost Tour dates. Thursday Oct. 29 and Friday Oct. 30 we have added a 6:00 and 6:30 pm ghost tour. Tickets are available online or by calling the box office.

Now on to my topic-
Thursday I received a phone message to call a woman who wanted to talk to the director of Tom Dick and Harry. Immediately I worried about why this woman wanted to talk with me. She had called the box office earlier in the week and asked if there was any "foul" language in Tom Dick and Harry. I told the box office to tell the woman that if the play were to be rated like a movie it would have language that easily fit into the G rating. We are not allowed to rate our plays based on the movie rating system because that is copyrighted by the Motion Picture Association and they don't allow "others" to use their rating system. The television ratings system are the same way and most people get confused by the TV ratings system. So trying not to use the movie ratings yet give this person some information, and keep my integrity, I used the words "if" the play were rated like a movie it would be rated G.



I wasn't going to get off the hook that easy apparently. The woman wanted to know specific words. This is like trying to have a conversation with someone about what constitutes foul language in code without actually saying the words. Other than the infamous "f" word what else constitutes foul language? Is it the "A" word, the "B" word, the "D" word, the "G" word, the "H" word, the "S" word, etc. etc... This conversation is like being in an absurdest comedy.


The woman called again and asked to speak to me. I was out of the office and returned her call. Generally I'm pleased that people call and ask about subject matter and appropriateness for children etc. This helps our ticket buyers make an informed decision. But deciding on foul language is a slippery slope.


So I began the conversation. My thoughts are in parenthesis.

Woman: I want to know if there is any foul language in the play.

Me: (okay just dive in and figure out what she is talking about) Well a couple of times during the play someone might say the word hell. Like "what the hell are you doing!"

Woman: Oh that's the worst thing that someone can say.

Me: (I can think of a lot worse words-okay now I have a better idea of where you are coming from) They also use the expression "Oh God!" sometimes.

Woman: Those are the two worst words you can use.

Me (When did asking God for help become a foul language word? I always thought that taking the Lord's name in vain meant that you tried to make money by connecting yourself to God. Nope don't say that to this woman!) I can't think of any other words that I would define as foul. (Some how I think she probably will find something else that I haven't thought of.)

Woman: Can you take them out of the play? I really want to come see this play but I can't come if those words are in it.

Me: Well that's a really difficult request.

Woman: Everything has so much foul language these days that I can't even watch TV.

Me: Well you see we sign a contract that says we won't change the language in a play without the playwrights permission. In Tom Dick and Harry the playwright has given us permission in the script to change the locations to help make the play easier to understand but hasn't given us permission to change the basic dialogue.

Woman: Well other places change stuff all the time. They take out words and music and add songs and do what ever they want to a play.

Me: I can't speak to what other places do. I can only tell you that we abide by the letter of the law. These plays are copyrighted and you are not allowed to change them. If you change them you run the risk of the publishing company finding out and then you run the risk of being fined or not being able to publish any of their authors in the future.

Woman: Well (she names a theatre in Western Kentucky) does it all the time.

Me: I'm sorry but we don't do that. When we choose a play, the play selection committee looks at the language in a play and tries to decide if it is within the standards of the majority of our community. They select plays knowing that we can't change the language. If they feel it is too much language then we don't choose to produce the play. We just finished doing Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming which was enjoyed by a wide range of ages and audiences.

Woman: You won't change those words?

Me: No, I'm sorry.


Woman: Then we won't be coming to see your play.


Me: I hope that you will consider coming to one of our other plays this season. I appreciate your calling and your concerns.

We ended the phone conversation.

We are in the process of play selection for next season right now. There are several wonderful plays that I'm sure audiences will love. Some of them do contain the words that this woman wanted me to remove. It is not just language. I've gotten letters from audience members upset that we have actors who pretend to drink alcohol onstage, we were once asked to stop a performance in Graves County because the husband of the owner of the company that hired our murder mystery troupe stopped the show and told the crowd he was standing up for Christian Morality when a character took a flask out of his pocket and pretended to drink from it (he had water in the flask). I really try not to pass judgement on other people's ideas of morality. But as the Artistic Director I work with the play selection committee to present plays that are positive and life affirming.

While someone may not always approve of every word or action in the plays we produce. I can promise that we will always respect another person's opinion and try to give an honest answer when we cannot honor their requests. MHT shows are enjoyed by over 30,000 people each year. I receive maybe 10 or so complaints during the past year. In our just completed surveys taken during Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming the audiences, who have come four or more times during the past two years, have overwhelming said keep up the good work!

One of the plays we tried to review for possible future production was a comedy by the writers of The Compleat Works of William Shakespeare Abridged. It is a show called "The Bible Abridged". I'm not sure we could do this play because it would get a "PG-13" rating (if we rated our shows like movies which we don't because we aren't supposed to). The Bible has lots of foul language, sex, violence and drinking in it. I can just imagine my phone already ringing .....